Resources
Listing does not signify endorsement or warrant accuracy of content listed.
Emergency: Call 000
Gottman Resources
Research about the Effectiveness of the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy
Video - Negative Communication Styles - The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Video - Invest in your Relationship: The Emotional Bank Account
Video - Easiest Way to Improve your Relationship
Video - How to complain without hurting your partner
Getting parents on the same page
6 Hours a Week to a Better Relationship
Gottman Card Decks App - flashcards of helpful questions and ideas for improving your relationship: Google Play (Android) or App Store (Apple)
Small Things Often podcast - In 5 minutes or less The Gottman Institute provide simple, proven, quick tips to help you deepen and enhance your relationship
Infidelity & Affairs
Book - How to help your spouse heal from your affair - Linda MacDonald
How to build trust - Dr John Gottman (video)
Sexual Issues
Video - Consent - it's as simple as tea (explicit)
Sex when you don't feel like it - the truth about mismatched libido and rediscovering desire - Cyndi Darnell (book)
Why does my partner need sex to feel connected while I need to feel connected to have sex (podcast episode)
How to talk about sex (blog article)
Come as you are - Emily Nagoski (book)
Keys to a happier sex life - Emily Nagoski (TED talk)
How couples can sustain a strong sexual connection - Emily Nagoski (TED talk)
The 3-Minute Game - Betty Martin (video)
-
How would you like me to touch you for 3 minutes
-
How would you like to touch me for 3 minutes
The 3-Minute Game booklet - Betty Martin (pdf)
Wheel of consent - Betty Martin (pdf)
Sex without stress - Jessa Zimmerman (book)
Consensual non-monogamy - some things to consider in opening up a relationship: https://whydoesmypartner.captivate.fm/episode/want-to-open-our-relationship (podcast episode)
Other Couples Resources
Brene Brown on Empathy (video)
Drama Triangle vs Winners Triangle (Elizabeth Day, Best Friend Therapy Podcast) (Winners Triangle - Acey Choy - Caring - I see... Vulnerable - I feel... Assertive - I need...)
Video - Lessons from Geese - what can you apply to your relationship?
Why does my partner refuse to apologise (podcast)
Neuroscience explainer for couples - Sara Schwarzbaum
Feelings that precede ineffective behaviours - Sara Schwarzbaum
What am I feeling, where in body, and gifts of emotions (chart)
Terry Real - 10 Commandments of Time Outs
What is trauma? (brief video - Bessel van der Kolk)
Trauma and the nervous system (video)
How to support someone with a mental health issue (Beyond Blue)
Addiction recovery support (free training - Dr Robert Navarra)
​
ADHD Couples Resources
Adult ADHD (podcast - Dr Ari Tuckman)
ADHD after dark - how to improve your sex life (video featuring Dr Ari Tuckman)
Understand your Brain, Get More Done - ADHD Executive Functions (workbook by Dr Ari Tuckman)
Adult ADHD and Sex: what you need to know (kindle book - Gina Pera)
ADHD Roller Coaster (Gina Pera's blog)
​
Vulnerability & Shame
The power of vulnerability - Brene Brown (video)
Listening to shame - Brene Brown (video)
Other self-help resources
-
Atomic Habits - James Clear
-
Barefoot Investor - Scott Pape
-
I will teach you to be rich - Ramit Sethi
-
Magnesium: Different types​
-
What alcohol does to your body, brain and health (Huberman podcast)
-
The Breathscape app gives you biofeedback through music
-
The HeartMath Global Coherence Initiative is a great free tool to work on coherence (measured through Heart Rate Variability - HRV)
Guided Meditations - ACT
Support Services & Helplines
-
Relationships Victoria: Relationship education programs
-
Triple P Positive Parenting Programs: FREE online programs for parents/carers of babies and young children (under 12 years). Also fear-less program to help with children's anxiety and emotional resilience
-
Parentline Victoria: 13 22 89 (phone service, counselling)
-
Raising Children Network: online resources; Australian parenting website, for example:
-
Positive attention - behaviour management ideas (pre-teens)
-
Family Relationships Advice Line: 1800 050 321 (assisting families through separation; helping families stay together)
-
Amica: online tool that helps separated couples make parenting decisions, divide property and money, and work towards amicable resolution. Includes links to legal help
-
Divorce support & resources: Legal Aid; MELCA; Divorce Hub
-
Orange Door - Victorian government family violence support
-
Family Violence Supports Services (including links to Family Violence Intervention Orders; Neighbourhood Justice Centre)
-
How can you be safe booklet (domestic violence explainer)
-
Safe Steps: 1800 015 188 (24/7) Family violence response centre
-
1800 RESPECT - 1800 737 732 (National sexual assault, domestic violence, family violence counselling service 24/7)
-
No to Violence - 1300 766 491 (assistance, information and counselling to help men who use family violence)
-
Men's behaviour change program (Relationships Australia)
-
Caring Dads program (Kids First; A program to help fathers improve their relationships with their children and end controlling, abusive and neglectful behaviour)
-
Anger Management online course (impulsivity.com.au)
-
Lifeline: 13 11 14 (24-hour crisis counselling)
-
Beyondlbue: 1300 224 636 (depression and anxiety support 24/7)
-
Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 (telephone and online counselling service for men)
-
Suicide Line Melbourne and Victoria: 1300 651 251 (FREE 24/7 phone, chat and video counselling)
-
Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 (24/7 - if you or someone you know is feeling suicidal - phone and online counselling)
-
SANE: support for people with for recurring, persistent or complex mental health issues (and their families/friends): 1800 187 263
-
National Debt Helpline (Financial Counselling): 1800 007 007 (9:30am - 4:30pm)
-
QLife (LGBTQAI+ support): 1800 184 527 (daily 3pm-midnight AEST)
-
PANDA (Perinatal anxiety and depression Australia): 1300 726 306 (9am - 7:30pm AEST, Mon-Fri)
-
Griefline: 1300 845 745 (7 days a week, 6am-midnight)
-
Blue Knot Foundation: National Centre of Excellence for Complex Trauma. It provides support, education and resources for the families and communities of adult survivors of childhood trauma and abuse. Call 1300 657 380, Monday – Sunday between 9am – 5pm AEST or via email helpline@blueknot.org.au
Stress, Anxiety, Depression, Chronic Pain
Constructive Worrying Worksheet - this can help if you mind is keeping you awake at night
Mindspot - FREE online assessment and treatment for anxiety, depression, stress, PTSD, chronic pain for adults
(1800 61 44 34)
myCompass - FREE personalised self-help tool for mental health (mild to moderate) anxiety and depression; 7 weeks; self-assessment included
Head to Health - find digital mental health resources from trusted providers
This Way Up - therapy on demand - low-cost online evidence-based programs to help you improve the way you feel. Strategies to manage stress, anxiety and low mood
Attachment and Conflict
​Explainer: What is 'attachment' and how does it affect our relationships?
​
-
Du Plessis, K., & Clarke, D. (2008). Couples’ helpful, unhelpful and ideal conflict resolution strategies: Secure and insecure attachment differences and similarities. Interpersona, 2(1), 65-88, https://dx.doi.org/10.5964/ijpr.v2i1.18
-
Du Plessis, K., Clarke, D., & Woolley, C.C. (2007). Secure attachment conceptualizations: The influence of general and specific relational models on conflict beliefs and conflict resolution styles. Interpersona, 1(1), 25-44, https://doi.org/10.5964/ijpr.v1i1.3
ACT Resources
What is ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy)
ACT of Love - Russ Harris (book)
Leaves on a stream exercise A or B - getting unstuck from thoughts
The Sushi Train metaphor video - getting unstuck from thoughts
Monsters on a Boat metaphor video - let's imagine taking our difficult emotions with us
The 'Struggle Switch' metaphor video - how not to amplify emotions
Choice Point video - moving towards a meaningful life
Values-focused vs. Goals-focused life video
Grounding - dropping the anchor meditation video
ACT iCoach app on Google Play (Android) or App Store (Apple) (includes many free meditations)
Things might go terribly, horribly wrong - Kelly G. Wilson & Troy Dufrene (book)
Mindfulness Resources
How mindfulness changes the emotional life of our brains - TedTalk - Richard J. Davidson (video)
The health benefits of meditation and being mindful (article)
10 Minute mindfulness meditation video
Developing self-compassion - for beginners (number of resources)
7 Minute self-compassion audio
10 Minute guided loving kindness meditation video